Thursday, November 6, 2008

Traditions - Do you know your family's story?

There have been so many times since my sister in law passed away from the crippling effects of breast cancer at the age of 34, that I have wished I had more stories to share with her three children...her stories.
In seconds, I can type out a hundred questions that I would ask her if I just had one more day.
What were her favorite foods when she was a child? Who was her first "crush"? How did she learn to sew so beautifully, and what was her first craft project? (She would have been a famous "crafty' blogger, I just know it). What were her favorite movies? What was her biggest life lesson as a new mom? How did she come to know the Lord.... what were her favorite verses?
The list goes on and on, and I find myself tearing up as I type because of all the "do you know" questions her children have asked over the years, and I regret that....I regret that I didn't know more of the answers. What were her hopes and dreams as a teen or the secret desires of her heart?
I never asked. Some of those things one never thinks about until it's too late, especially with someone so young.
Things I wanted to share when her oldest daughter got married. So many things I wished I could have blessed her with....things that her mom would have wanted said.
I tried. I tried desperately.
The Lord gave me words of wisdom, but they weren't her words.
When my sis in love died a decade ago, it awoke in me the passion to be intentional with the little things. Things like choosing joy when our head/heart tells us life isn't always fair.
It intensified in me the realization of how precious life is, and that if I don't take the time to write down the little things, those moments are lost.
I know that is why so many of us love blogging. It's a tangible expression of the legacy that we are leaving...the good, bad and ugly. :)
I'll share more ideas of how I have purposed in my heart to leave a lasting legacy, but first here's a peak into what we did this week with my father in law.
As the holidays are approaching, many of us will be with loved ones who have so much to share.
There may be stories told that you've heard a million times, but have you truly listened? There are probably many stories that you have never taken the time to hear because "life" just got away.
Don't wait and have regrets like I did.
This is your chance to create a holiday gathering that will be remembered for generations to come.
Connecting over meaningful conversation may be something that you typically avoid, especially if extended family time is more stressful than peaceful. But this may be just the healing balm that the doctor ordered.
Don't worry, every family tree has their share of the nuts. :)
We started out by placing our kitchen chairs in front of our fireplace for the big video interview. We decided we wanted this to be grandpa/grandchild time and asked each of our five children to come up with 5-10 questions that they wanted to ask Grandpa. (Trust me, once we got rolling, I don't think we made it through even 1/4 of them, so don't stress about the questions) .

The questions ranged from things about his childhood, school and work experiences, to family advise and the kind of life he's lived. He shared how he met Grandma S (who has now passed away), and unfortunately, we ended up running out of room on our video card before we were all finished. It was such a special time and we could have listened for hours. We found out so many new things, just because we asked.

Here is my eldest writing frantically because his questions are up next, and you can bet that I am saving all of their questions for another time.
(tangent....notice the not-yet- hung black clock misplaced on my corner hutch...last week...yardsale....$1)
I am so thankful for this wonderful man (yes, my hubby rocks) who made this evening happen. Our day was crazy, and if it was up to me, it wouldn't have happened.

We spent the day with Grandpa and Granny taking in the breathtaking views of the mountains leaves at their peak, running them back and forth to football,

and all I wanted to do was come home and do this...which I really did...after Grandpa was done (or maybe a little bit during. :)....
but it turned into bedlam after I was woken up by my other daughter wanting to get in on the picture action. Yes, she is totally a little faker.

Thank you, honey, for being purposeful in your desire to get a deeper understanding of our family history and record it for generations to come.
Thanks even more to Grandpa S. (my hubby's dad) for sharing his heart with us, and letting us take a peak into pieces of his life.

If you don't have the time to think of questions yourself or would like to extend this idea to family members around the country, take a look at my Family Tree booklets or Stories of My Life.


FAMILY TREE BOOKLETS (click on products, browse by the collection called Staying in touch)
Send these 4.5” x 6” booklets to Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles and Cousins and have them fill in their story. Or start a new family tradition whereby the younger generation interviews one member of the older generation every Thanksgiving and fills in the booklet for them. Store these treasured family keepsakes in a beautiful silk Family Tree Box. Each of the 5 Booklets has 7 pages.

Price: $16.00

37 comments:

Mc Allen said...

awww Jen, this is such a wonderful post. There's nothing that hurt's like time not spent and questions not asked. I have a few of those with my grand mother that passed when I was 15. Thank you so much for the reminder. Wonderful pics!! Leah

Kim said...

This is a beautiful post and reminder. So much to think about ~ especially with the holidays rapidly approaching. Love your blog and your posts! Have a wonderful day...

Anonymous said...

What a great idea! I like that the kids are asking the questions. My grandparents are gone now and I would love to have had something like that.

The couch with the dog laying down is priceless. That is too funny!

Anonymous said...

Jen,

I have been a lurker on your website but I felt today I must tell you how much I enjoy reading about you and your family.

I too lost my youngest brother to melanoma three years ago. He didn't have any children but I have tried really hard to let my grandchildren know how special he was and what a great brother he was.

Thank you for sharing your story. If your sister was anything like you, she must have been a jewel.

Gretchen
birdnestcottage.typepad.com

These Are The Days said...

Thanks Jen, it's been on my list but I needed that reminder. How sweet! A great homeschool project too.

jo said...

This is a beautiful post. I have tears in my eyes reading it. I've been inspired by you and we haven't even met. Just this morning, after my reading, I wrote a letter to my baby girl who is 2 and the baby of four. I'm determined to do one for all four kids. Hopefully once a year. Its a start. Thanks for reminding me of whats really important.

Christi said...

Jen, I remember when I was younger - probably about 10 - and my brother & a few cousins were spending a week with my grandparents during the summer. My GREAT grandmother (who then was in her mid-nineties) was there for a day, and my grandmother had all of us cousins sit down & come up with 25 questions each to ask Mama Johnson. Then we sat around her in a chair & used a tape recorder (remember, this was (oh my word!!!) 24 years ago) to record her answers.

My grandmother gave copies of that tape to our (large) family for Christmas that year. And it's still a priceless treasure; she passed on just a few months after that.

I so share your heart with being intentional and making memories. Thanks again for sharing.

Christi said...

Jen, one more thing - when I clicked the link in your post, it took me to your main page. Can you direct me to the Family Tree books? If you tell me where to look, I'll find them on the site.

Thanks!

Shell in your Pocket said...

What a wonderful post! I just love it...such a great idea!!! Love the pictures too...such a sweet family you all seem to be!
-sandy toes

Sarah said...

I love this idea...and think how many neat opportunities were missed with grandparents...lessons that could teach my children gratitude and appreciation for how things are easier now!

Heather said...

what a great idea! you're post is awesome. and the pictures are priceless!

Shanda said...

What a wonderful idea! I am going to do this during Christmas with my husbands family & our kids.

When my Dad was in his last stages of cancer my sisters and I sat down with him and got him talking about his childhood. I had a video record button on my camera and was able to record most of it...it is a treasure to me although not high quality.

Shannon said...

This is such a great post. I love asking my grandparents things. I want to be more purposeful about it too. Thanks!

Christy said...

Thank you for sharing such a special memory you made with your family. I remember as a young girl and even up to my adult years, listening to my grandfather (who passed away 10 years ago) tell stories of when he was in the war. I am so thankful that my children were even able to hear many of his stories. He would pull out all his pictures from the past. It was such a neat time and truly one of the fondest memories I have. I'm going to go check out these gifts you have mentioned!

Lisa said...

How sweet and special. Family and traditions are so important. Beautiful job!

Lisa Q

Heathahlee said...

This was so sweet. I remember having an assignment in school where I had to ask my Grandaddy some questions and got so much more than just a good grade! I miss him terribly, and remembering that conversation warms my heart.

Anonymous said...

What an awesome, easy project that preserves a wealth of memories! I wish, now, that I had done that with my dad, who passed away when I was 22, long before any of my children were born. They ask me questions about Grandpa all the time, and I can only answer in snippets because I had never written anything down.

This is such an important "project", and one that I'll undertake with my mom and my ex's mom before it's too late!

Leila said...

It's true. We live with someone and think that we know all about them, but sometimes a direct question can surprise us!
This is a lovely post.

duchess said...

What a special time.
I'll use this as a reminder for our family when we go to the hubby's grandparents house for Christmas next month. Hopefully our kids will come away with more than just tangible gifts.
Thanks.

Tracie said...

What a wonderful idea. I saw an article in FamilyFun magazine with something similar. I am going to implement that this thanksgiving. I cannot wait!

Family memories are so incredibly important to pass down.

Yesterday, hubby "forced" me (HA) to clean out my side of our closet. There was a box in there from my Grandma's house with cookbooks (which I collect). I didn't look through it when I got it, but to procrastinate my cleaning assignment, I opened the box. There was a container with recipes in it, so I opened it up. Low and behold, I found tons of handwritten recipes and letters from my Grandma, great Grandma, cousins and aunts. One newspaper clipping was from 1970 (the before I was born). I was in pure heaven! I'm going to scan and send to my family. I'll add them to my blog later today. What a treasure! It was like stepping back in time.

Bonita said...

Beautiful!

Rhoda @ Southern Hospitality said...

Jen, I think it's so great that you all took the time to do this. It's amazing how much family history is lost in just one generation. I'm finding all of this out as I get older too & just recently took that trip with my parents to my dad's homeplace.

Scooterblu's Whimsy~Rhonda said...

Great Post, Jen! My FIL passed away three years ago, this Feb. and although I remember so many stories he told...(he was a great storyteller,) Kevin and I still think of things we would like to ask him. ...especially family history. The pictures were great of your family! ~Rhonda :)

Sunny said...

that is such a sweet thing that took place - love it.

Ruby Red Slippers said...

Wow...seriously-what a beautiful post. I want to do that with my parents...

Paula said...

Ok, my favorite part is the dog in the picture napping too. LOL

Melissa @ The Inspired Room said...

Love this post! Wish I had seen it yesterday to add to my list of links, but for maximum exposure I'll add it next Friday. Great idea as we gather our families around us over the holidays. Thanks for sharing this story and idea!

Blessings,
Melissa

the voice of melody said...

This is just the kind of thing that gets to me every time!

I love what you did. Families are to be treasured and you certainly have a way to do just that. Great pictures too. :)

The Beauty Bargainista said...

wow! thats awesome. I love those family tree booklets, I really need to look into that! :)

Jami said...

Jen that is such a wonderful thing to do. I've thought to do this before but have never made it happen. Thanks for inspiring me to do it! :)

Parisienne Farmgirl said...

In our family we are all Mac Nerds so I always have my laptop with me every time we go to the farm (G & G's house). Whenever Grandpa starts talking I flip it open and start transcribing...I have quite a few memories written down in his own words.
Lovely Idea!
PS - I almost fell off my chair cause I thought hubbies shirt said "Obama" for a second there. Instead I think it said "Carolina" or something like that.

Jill said...

I absolutely LOVE your blog and this is such a great post! I found it so inspiring that I decided to start my own blog. In a way, blogs are like little scrapbooks. We each should make our little mark in some way. Thank you for the inspiration!

Jinx said...

This is such a beautiful idea. I wish I would have had the chance to learn more about my own granny.

"Create Beauty" said...

What a beautiful idea, thank you for your inspiring post!

Amy @ Living Locurto said...

Great post! I love getting my grandma to tell stories. My kids are still too small to do this, but hopefully she will still be around when they are.

Juanita said...

I just stumbled across your blog and I have really enjoyed it!Thanks so much for sharing and i will be adding you to my favs list! Have a blessed day!
Juanita

Unknown said...

Visiting via the Inspired Room, love these ideas. We did the video stories once, but haven't gotten our act together again. Maybe this Thanksgiving, since it will be a smaller one than usual.