Thursday, January 29, 2009

Terrible Teens...I beg to differ

A new home school mom asked at a conference this week "How does it work when you nurse a baby, have a toddler running around and attempt to teach?"
The question, by default, was directed at me, and I really didn't want to put on a "happy face" and answer. It has been a long, frustrating week for this mom, but I responded honestly...with a long term vision of motherhood.
Join me in remembering that challenging, but treasured, calling of mothering with my first post about my teen age boy and a Ped-egg.
If nothing else...I need the reminder this week!


One of the things that I passionately try to address when I speak to womens' groups are the labels we hypothetically predetermine..."the terrible two's" (especially at Mops) , or "just wait till they're teenagers", etc. I do not believe that has to be the case, but yes, I'll save that for a different post.

This post is for me.

A reminder of my calling.
A whisper from my Heavenly Father in regards to the legacy He has called me to leave. This is to remind me of the goodness of a relationship with your teen when a mommy's heart is fully engaged in reaching his.

Don't get me wrong, teen years are tough emotionally, and I am only a few years into it. I mess up...royally... and am often asking forgiveness from those very blessings whom I desire to mentor. Yet these years are so precious. It's a small window in which we can watch as the Lord bring boys into manhood. I want to be there - front and center - enjoying every minute of it. It is racing by, and I want to capture those "manhood" moments. That's what this post is about. It was a mommy moment when the Lord reached out during a season of drought, and assured me...he is mine!

It started with some musing from "the mom" about the gross nature of dried and crack heels. Yep, you got it... ugly feet, and sheer vanity. I am not really a pedicure kind of gal (clarification...wasn't), but necessity was rearing it's ugly head when even my 5 year old daughter realized the drastic measures that needed to take place if mommy was going to continue in her usual flip flop foot fashion.
Yesterday morning, my oldest son and I were alone in the family room and he called me over to my comfy chair.
"Mom, let me try out this Ped-egg on you," he said. (For those of you wondering...this pedicure tool won out on our local news "deal or dud segment.")
Ped Egg Pedicure Foot File

I must tell you, I was a little taken back and wondered what his primary motives were. I mean, come on, this is a gross task and he just told me being a pedicurist would be a disgusting job. I do believe he said, "Can you imagine all the nasty feet that people have?"
And now he was searching out those feet...namely mine?

My "terrible teen" went on to spend not five minutes, not ten, but over 30 minutes meticulously
getting every bit of dry skin off my ugly feet. Then he took lotion, and massaged those feet, and made sure that they were smooth and beautiful.
And in those moments, I saw Jesus...
through my son.
We shared life those 30 minutes. We talked about Jesus washing the disciples feet and I couldn't help pointing out how this act of service reaches down to the core of who someone is. That's why Jesus choose it. It's embarrassing, and yet as my eldest took care of "my man feet" lol... he ministered to me in a way, a simple way, that makes an impact for life. He won't know what an impact it had. He has no understanding of the way that Jesus whispered through him. Only I could see, through tearful eyes, a boy share a moment of manhood with his momma.

Linked at: Three boys, crazy life.


48 comments:

Valarie Lea said...

This was beautiful! My oldest is 18, and watching her grow into a young woman is so awesome. Now those moments when she falls back into whiney selfish childhood are not to fun, but those are becoming less and less. :)

Candice said...

I just found your blog a couple of days ago. I'm excited to read more of it because I aspire to be the kind of woman that you are striving for.

This post brought tears to my eyes. You must be a really great mom to have raised a son who would take the time to do something like this. I love this post:) Thanks for sharing

Laura said...

Okay... darn you! LOL
I've been an emotional wreck for the past day or two.. (crying at everything..). I thought I'd finally put myself back together when BAM! I come here and read this post.
Now I sit with tears streaming down my face. My oldest 2 are teenage boys and I can relate so well to this story. (well.. not to the pedicure part cause no way would either one of them touch my nasty feet..).
What a good boy you have raised. Well done Mum!
Laura

southerninspiration said...

oh what a man God is making here! Love this post! my oldest just turned 27 yesterday, and he is just such a man. I love seeing what God is doing in his life! Isn't it fun to watch???

Suzanne

Windy said...

Beautiful! What a story!

mommy4life said...

What an awesome post. I pray that I have and will continue to instill godly characters in my children and love it when you see the fruit of that...

Came over from SITS!

These Are The Days said...

OK so this is the best post EVER! What a big sweetheart you have on your hands. It's a testiment of what a great job his parents are doing! Tears..steaming down my face. Thanks for the lovely story.

Anonymous said...

I get ya! Teenagers are alot of work but when they give back... it's always worth it~

Julie said...

as a mom of two little boys... this made me smile and I actually look forward to the teenage years... what a blessing to be able to talk to them on deeper levels... and maybe get a foot rub out of it... so great!!! thanks for sharing

Lisa said...

Beautiful. It is true that teens do not have to be terrible. I have two in their teens and they are wonderful! They are young women of faith.

You are raising a man of God that will honor his wife one day.

"they shall rise up and call her blessed"!!!


Lisa Q

The Mommy said...

I pray that my son and daughter will have those precious moments with me. Rather I pray that I acknowledge those moments and don't let them pass me by. I get so busy that I can't even see my little ones wanting "me". But not just me, more of me. I don't want to miss out on a single moment.

Shell in your Pocket said...

What a sweetie!
I agree with the terrible twos and all..now I don't have teenagers but I hope it will be a blessing for me and our relationships will be strong!
-sandy toe

Shannon said...

What a sweet sweet post!

Christy said...

Okay Jen, this is my most favorite post ever from you. I am sitting here with tears in my eyes. I completely hear what you are saying here because of having two sons of my own (12 and 11) as well as a daughter who will be 18 this weekend. The teenage years are tough but my husband and I went into them trying to be as prepared as possible for what we were facing. We read many books, prayed A LOT, and also were committed to enjoying this time with her as we will with our boys. Have we made mistakes along the way... absolutely! We have all learned a lot and in spite of everything there has always been grace and unconditional love. Thank you so much for sharing this story.

Staci Loalbo said...

sooo sweet! thanks for sharing

Mc Allen said...

I too have tears in my eyes but for a totally different perspective with my teen right now. I posted about it this morning and then i just saw this on my blog roll. I tell myself that she is His. Its what I cling to.. ♥ LA

Erin said...

My daughter takes care of me in a girl way, but it is when my boys (who are older than the girl) take care of me that my heart is especially wrenched. My oldest is 18 and now living in the dorms and I miss him and I don't, but that is part of our journey. These memories you have show that you've done your job and he will be a wonderful husband.

Becca said...

Thank you for this story. My boys are 4 and almost 2, and this is the toughest stage so far with the combination of those ages. Yet when I tell older moms this, I rarely hear anything other than, "Well just wait 'til..." I'm so tired of feeling like if I get through one stage successfully and with my sanity intact, there's another (worse) stage waiting for me. I know parenting is difficult. I know there will be harder times and easier times. What we need, as moms of younger kids, is encouragement. Like yours. We do not need someone to tell us how bad it's going to be in ten years. So thank you again for being a source of encouragement as I try to raise my boys into godly men.

I think you'd like my post today! It goes perfectly with yours.

Debbie said...

What a wonderful story. I don't even like touching my own feet during the winter months - what a sweetheart he is. What a blessing for you both just sitting and talking.

Bonnie said...

I love this post, Jen! I felt the same way when my kids were teens. I loved every minute of my time with them. They taught me so much and still do. I have one daughter that always gave me a foot rub if she knew I was stressed out or particularly tired. It is a very Christ like act. I also love that ped-egg thing. It works wonders. Enjoy your son, what a sweetheart. My daughter now lives in Italy and my feet show it!

Musings of a Homeschooling Mom said...

So sweet! You are raising an amazing young man.

Miss G said...

How completely wonderful! What a good husband he is going to be someday! Kelly

Bryan and Marsha said...

Thank you for sharing this!! I have tears in my eyes!!! I am enjoying the teen years so far, so this is encouraging!!!

jo said...

I didn't have time to cry this afternoon - but this did me in. Thanks so much for sharing. My oldest boy is 10 and I just feel so sobered at what will transpire in his life in these next years. I want to reflect the sweet and good parts of those years.

By the way, that boy of yours looks like his momma. I think.

Pretty Organizer said...

Weep, sniff, that was perfect!

I have a 10 year old who knows that I love nothing more than to have my feet rubbed. He will often stop his route through a room if he notices that I'm laying on the couch or sitting for awhile and rub my feet.

Yes, teenagerhood is different (I have a 12 year old and we're entering...) but, when those boys understand the gospel, love their mother, and feel her love, those years are manageable and wonderful.

Jen great post! Puking all over at this Palace... now on to disinfection. Thanks for your encouragement!

Pretty ORganizer

Gretchen said...

How precious, Jen!
What a gift from our Father to get to see little glimpses of Him in our children!

Anonymous said...

What a great story! He must be a very special teenager!

Thanks for also letting us know the ped-egg really works. I have terrible feet too.

TreasureHunter said...

I thank God for you, for your kids and for the chance to do lif with you all. Love ya

Anonymous said...

Hi Jen, so glad to be back online and catching up on your blog... this is such a sweet post. PS ~ I had wondered about the PedEgg (a little nervous about it truthfully). :)

Kristi~The Slipcover Girl said...

Thanks for sharing this as I remember why I am homeschooling and the girl's I am raising to become women in this world.

Amanda@Imperfectly Beautiful said...

WOW. This momma is typing through her tears. What a touching story. I wasn't even there, but I feel like I experienced something powerful. I pray that I can raise my boys half as good as you're raising yours! Thanks for sharing that beautful moment with us.

~Amanda

Gayle @ thewestiecrew said...

What a sweet gesture from your beautiful boy.

You know, we are running headlong into the teen years, too.. and I really hate all the stereotypes that everyone puts out there. I am thinking "well if you expect them to be BAD, then they may do it to live up to your foolish expectations".

I dunno.

Robin's Nesting Place said...

This is a beautiful post and brought tears to my eyes. Hopefully your son won't be embarrassed that you shared it. I think most kids who have moms with blogs know that anything they say or do can end up as blog post material!

We've home schooled both our children, 21 yo daughter and 16 yo son. I've had it pretty easy for the most part. I totally agree, the teen years, while challenging at times, don't have to be terrible.

Ruby Red Slippers said...

I have a pedi-egg, and love it. I do not have a teen yet, so I will just do it myself-
Your son sounds like a sweetie!

Tanya said...

What a great post. I got a lump in my throat. My oldest son will be 24 next month. I have a 19 year old daughter and a 10 year old son. I've been through the "teen years" twice now and they say that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. ha ha It's amazing to see our little ones grow up to make wise (and sometimes foolish) decisions. But it's always a miracle that God has entrusted them to another human to raise, like he did his son! Being a mother is an awesome task!

Sandy said...

THIS is beautiful living at its very best! What an act of service your son preformed and what a teaching moment God provided for you to share. Thank you for blessing me today.

Stacey @ The Blessed Nest said...

Oh, what a wonderful son you have! I can hardly see to type cause I'm so teary :), what love was shown!! I know you'll treasure this time together in your heart always!!!

Jenny said...

Wow!! I still get tears when out of the blue my four year old throws his arms around me and says "you're my favoritest mommy" can't imagine the tears when a teenager does it!

Anonymous said...

WOW! This post brought tears to my eyes! This is truly beautiful and a wonderful memory!

ByHISgoodGrace said...

What a beautiful illustration of Christ's love. What an incredible servant you've raised.
So encouraging. Thanks for sharing.

Neisey said...

Aww. That is so sweet. What a special moment and memory.

Melissa @ The Inspired Room said...

That was beautiful! As a mom who has a nearly 21 year old, a 17 year old and an 8 year old, I know of all the stages you mentioned, from the "terrible" twos to the "unruly" teens!

Moments like you experienced are those rare times when you know you are getting through, they are becoming more selfless, and best of all, they are becoming men and women of God!

blessings,
melissa

Tammy ~ Country Girl at Home ~ said...

Jen,

What a precious story and what a sweet son! As a mom of an almost 20 year old and a 10 year old, I too know the joys of both. I think the teen years were very rewarding and I loved homeschooling through those years as well...it was so neat to have "almost adult" conversation while learning! :) It's on a whole different scale...but what a blessing!

Thanks for sharing!

Blessings,
Tammy

Mandy said...

Wow, what a great story. I see my 10 year old slowly evolving from "my little boy" into a young man and it is a bittersweet time for me.

I am however, finding myself more often these days enjoying this new person he is becoming instead of wishing he were my baby again.

Thanks for sharing!

Mandy

green gables girl said...

Wow...this was truly beautiful. I don't have sons but it brought tears to my eyes....
Thank you for joining in at the last moment!
~Tammy
(Lattes and Lollipops)

jennschmerer said...

This brought tears to my eyes! Thanks so much for being the first one to venture to my carnival! I hope you'll be back next week- this was great!

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for this. My son (who has only been homeschooled) is 13. We don't have a fraction of the problems with him that I was led to believe we would. He is not perfect and some day's I'd like to thunk him on the side of the head . . . . . but it's so much better than I thought it would be.

John and Lisa said...

I followed your tweet to "Three Boys, Lots of Crazy" and found this linked. I am so glad I did. JUST the encouragement I needed today in my weary state. We have two wonderful grown children, but two young ones at home that wear me down some days. We must keep looking forward, it is SO worth it! Thanks.